building a community

Connecting and Building A Community After Relocating

Moving around your entire life doesn’t always make connecting and building a community around you easy. While it can be done, sometimes it takes that little push to get you out of your comfort zone.

Over the last year, my family has moved a few different times, to three new towns, all very different from each other.

While everyone’s story is different, I wanted to share mine to give you hope that building a community from whatever foundation you have can be done. We are very fortunate to have a support system in Northern Nevada like Nevada Moms to keep us connected.

Our Story

A few months ago we were at a loss. After years of trying to go in one direction to pursue a dream job, we were losing hope.

At the time we thought we didn’t think we were asking for much. All we really wanted was a job in a particular field, and a place that was not ridiculously hot, besides that anywhere else in California would work.

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I had lived in Reno and moved back and forth for the last 15 years. In pursuit of my husband’s dream job, we moved to Roseville, CA for 9 months. Let me tell you, relocating as a new young mom, I was clueless about how to connect to my community.

After school in Roseville, we moved to a small town outside of Reno in Beckwourth, CA. Just when I got into the swing of things in Roseville we moved to a town that is a micro-community.

building a community

I grew more tired from these moves and even more disconnected from a community. To top it off, I was pregnant with our baby girl. Thank you hormones for the extra love.

I looked in the mirror of our inlaw’s house and told myself, “ Tiffany you got this, you have moved countless times as a kid, adult, and now… mom. Go out and find your people”.

Connecting Isn’t Always Easy

Why does being a mom make it that much more difficult? Honestly right now my gut is telling me this:  We as moms and families can make finding our people in our community hard because sometimes there is so much freaking judgment.

ARE ANY OF US EVEN DOING “IT” RIGHT? Probably not, but we are all doing our best!

I went down to the park, gym, pool, and grocery store, which cost way too much, but my intention was to be open to meeting someone new. I even got a part-time night job at a resort.

It was hard, not a lot of people left their house or they went to Reno, NV. So I went to Reno too. I started to connect with the community in Beckwourth and in Reno.

Then we moved again, right when I started making connections. This time back to Reno, this is the same year we started losing hope. We were going to give up on my husband’s dream job and settle in Reno.

One day we woke up and said screw it, let’s go to Disneyland and stop pursuing this path. The first day that we got to Disney we went to Tomorrowland. Enjoying the best gluten-free pizza we had ever had, we got a call.

The Universe, I guess, was just waiting for us to let go a little bit and let what will be, be. HE GOT THE JOB.

building a community disneyland

The Most Recent Move

That weekend we went to Lyon County, NV to look at houses. Lyon County was really the last place we wanted to move to.

We could make a long list of what we didn’t like and what others told us. It was dry, far from Reno, hot, not very green, hard to make friends, and we were leaving our friends.  I was also leaving a night job I loved, and the list goes on…

The first house we looked at ended up being the only one we could consider that was in our budget and it happens to be in Yerington; the furthest from Reno.

Within a month we were moving into the first home that we owned! We were so happy, very happy, and feeling blessed.

So now we are in a new community… I thrive when I am connected to my community. I was also raised on the East Coast where I knew all my neighbors young and old no matter what new house we moved to. Now that we knew we were settled down for a while, I was on a path to connecting and building a community – my own.

Connecting With Your Neighborhood

Make something easy like banana muffins (one bowl). Go to your neighbors, introduce yourself and your family.

Ask questions about the area, ask about kids that may live close that are around the same age as your kiddos.

BONUS POINTS: Give them a plate you don’t care about. That way if they return the plate, you have a second hello!

  • Register for school or look for homeschool groups on FB. Learn more about homeschooling.
  • Ask a neighbor about trash days and if you can put boxes out or when recycling is.
  • Ask your mail person what their name is and try to say hello.
  • Go on walks during different times of day with the family and say hello and give compliments to your neighbors that are out. People love compliments, especially about their house or yard.

Settling in and Building A Community

Okay, you’ve connected with your neighbors, but what about the rest of the community?

Here are some ways to build a community of your own whether they are two doors down or a short drive across town.

building a community

If what you are looking for does not exist in your area, girl, make it happen. As awkward and hard as it can be, take a deep breath and talk to the moms you pass by. Ask them if they know of a mom’s group in the area.

A Little Love In Closing

Remember you are the only YOU in this world and we need you, mama! Your family, kids, and community need you, just the way you are. Please do not dull your light, shine it brightly and unapologetically.

Moving, connecting, and building a community is hard, stressful, and can cause a lot of negative self-talk. Remember to keep it positive in your head. Your people are out there and if you get out of your house I truly believe you will find them.

Put on a bra, mascara, comb your hair, and go do something today that will thread the needle forward. Let us know what tips you do, we always love to hear about what you try.

tiffany whittmore
Tiffany Whittemore

Tiffany Whittemore is from the Reno area but moved further out of the area to the Mason Valley area. She is a stay at home mama and entrepreneur. She is active with two kids and a husband in Law Enforcement. Her passions are natural living, bodybuilding at the gym, and loves to be involved in her community. She loves to empower and motivate women while also being real about motherhood.